Is all money, money?

Several years ago (around the early 90’s) the infamous arms dealer Sarkis Soghanalian was making headlines in the Armenian press by donating to Armenian organizations and churches.
He had appeared on CBS-60 Minutes at the time and was internationally known for his sale of arms and weapons to a variety of different clients.

When there was talk that Soghanalian might donate to the churches, one of our overly righteous, self-appointed defenders of the ethical virtues of the church (a priest, no less) cried foul. How dare we, the church, take “tainted” money from this man? Ill-gotten gains, he claimed.
On the surface, this reasoning sounded good. After all, the church is an agent of peace and there’s a definite incongruity in peace efforts being funded by money coming from the sale of weapons of war. But, what got me thinking deeper on the subject was that the priest who raised the issue was serving in California’s Central Valley. In other words, his congregation made its money by working the land. And so, you have to wonder, how much of the money that came into his church’s plate was from farmers and land-owners who had exploited migrant farm workers? (Yes. Coincidence that tomorrow is Caesar Chavez day?)

And so, we have a double standard here: somehow money from guns is dirtier than money produced at the expense of people who might not rate a spot on the 6 O’clock News? Mexicans risking their lives, crossing the border for a chance to make a few bucks. They live in sub-standard conditions, and because they will, they work for very little wages. And if someone exploits these people they are called shrewd and good businessmen – after all, they are turning over a buck for less than what it would ordinarily cost. How is this any less ill-gotten or tainted than the money from the arms dealer?

So my question – isn’t money, money? If you go far enough, isn’t there some factor that will always put the money in the tainted category?

I bring this up now because I’m concerned about the role of money in our efforts. I have always insisted that we have a product that is worth funding. (Check out the “Miller Interviews” on the In His Shoes area of YouTube.) In other words, we have to stand by our product and believe in it to the point that we can (and should) ask for money for the product. If we are engaged in a ministry, we should ask people for money for the ministry. If we are engaged in helping children of war, we should ask people for money to help children of war. And so on…

What would you think of a store which sold light bulbs, but every time you walked into that store they kept handing you oranges and insisted that those oranges were good oranges? Well, for a while you’d be confused and then you’d get use to it. You’d start coming to the light bulb store to do your shopping for oranges. And eventually, the employees themselves would be convinced that their job was to promote and sell oranges. But, the savvy shopper will figure out that there are better oranges at the produce store and since you’re unsure of your main product – light bulbs – then certainly the better light bulbs must be elsewhere as well.

This is what has happened in our church. We’re selling all the wrong things. We have a product called Armenian Orthodoxy, and instead we’re selling Debutante Balls, Fashion Shows, and basketball games. So what happens – people come to our church searching for the ancient truth that they can ONLY get from the Armenian Orthodox church. They walk in, like they do to the light bulb store, and we tell them, here, have a debutant ball: this is the mission of the church. Or our children come looking for identity and we say “Join our team! We belong to a great basketball league!” Well – what do you suppose will happen? At first, people will be confused but eventually we will have a steady clientele ready to consume the products we offer. Some people will come thinking this is the Debutante store. Others will come thinking it’s the basketball store. Many of the employees will forget what the product is. BUT the savvy shopper, will figure out there are better basketball courts at the YMCA and there is certainly better places to learn about faith than a place that doesn’t want to give it to you.

In your own experience – I know we can all relate to this – you tell non-Armenians that you belong to the Armenian Church and what do they tell you? “You have some great food.” “I love the bakalava… or is that the Greeks?” In fact, just in the Los Angeles area I can tell you if people want the best pilaf it’s at one of the churches, the other has the market on kufta, and still, the other is known for its topig!

Which are the successful ministries? The ones that offer a product they believe in. Does that mean they don’t sell anything else? Certainly not. We’re all realists and we know that money is the necessary tool to get work done. But there are certain ratios that need to be agreed upon from the beginning. Albeit, these ratios may be arbitrarily established, still they are there to guide us. For instance, I have set up an arbitrary ratio in my own ministry between outreach and time allocated to admin. The same can be put in place for funding. If we can raise 80% of our funds from donations directly to our ministry then we can justify 20% of the money coming from non-ministry functions. I think this is reasonable and we’re doing it in our small corner of the world.

In His Shoes and the St. Peter Youth Ministries has been funded primarily by people who believe in the mission we’re engaged in. Even the occasional dinner dance, or concert is supported primarily by people who are supporters of the ministry, so that the events don’t come off as fund-raisers, as much as opportunities for the community to get together and enjoy fellowship and each other’s company.

Now we are engaged in raising money for poverty. Our annual Famine, raised awareness and money for world hunger. Most of the money comes from direct donations – people giving to the cause, that is, to aid world hunger. A percentage of the money comes from indirect solicitations, for instance, the sale of lemonade on the street corner – with proceeds benefitting the Famine. We have to admit that the person buying a glass is more interested in quenching his own thirst than hydrating the dehydrated children of Africa, still, in a small way awareness for the big cause is heightened.
This balance between direct and indirect solicitation is important. It will be the difference between a sincere effort to do our mission and selling oranges, just because we don’t believe in our light bulbs.

A few months ago, we saw a raffle ticket that was being sold by an Armenian organization to bring aid to the Refugees of Iraq. This was a hard one for me – because behind each of those words is a mass suffering. It’s another one of those incongruent situations where people vying for a chance to go to vacation in Hawaii might also be saving a life in the war zone. As I read the raffle ticket I wondered if the Jewish Diaspora during World War II was selling raffle tickets to vacation in New York, with proceeds benefitting displaced persons in Europe? Or even worse, if we had a large enough Diaspora in 1915, would we have raffled off a Ford Model-T so that proceeds could be sent to aid Genocide victim families and survivors?

Obviously, there are many for whom these issues – poverty, ecology, torture, violence, environment, immigration – are not important. And there are many in these categories that have money. And I would even venture to say, once that money is not used to bring aid and comforted, it falls into the earlier tainted category. AND, so the challenge is on us – the Robin Hood challenge – to take from the rich and distribute to the poor. It’s a challenge. It’s also ethically challenging because we ourselves don’t want to be tainted in the process of doing this. So it’s important that we hold our mission always in front of us and not lose sight about what we’re doing and the reason why we’re doing it. And along the way, we need to police ourselves, in case it does get out of hand. I think this is an area that we need to develop as we grow and as we expand. Certainly, if nothing else, I think the addition of these blogs and the dialogue that follows either on line or in our Questions in Faith discussion, is a step in this direction. We don’t want to be like the light-bulb store employees, who have gotten so use to the idea of selling oranges that we’ve forgotten that we have a product that is worth pushing, promoting and selling.

An Angel’s Life Does Not End

Sunday mornings, I place my cell phone on my desk before entering the church. I figure those couple of hours in the church can be spent without being wirelessly tethered to the world.
But not last Sunday. It was an early Daylight Savings Time – March 9, to be exact. And ever since AT&T fired or shot the Time lady, I’ve been using my cell phone’s clock to coordinate myself with my calendar. So this Sunday, my phone was in my pocket throughout the liturgy. It was a good thing because it was a few minutes after services were over that my phone rang. It was my close friend, telling me his mother-in-law was on her way out. She had been battling cancer for several years and now she was in the hospital.

It was also a day that we had gone to church in only one car. So I asked Susan and Christaphor to join me out to Woodland Hills. At the hospital I found Arlene with her family huddled around her in the Intensive Care unit. One of the last times I had seen Arlene was at the TV studio – I was doing my weekly show and she was doing a promo for the Armenian Bone Registry. We discussed her cancer. We discuss her faith. It’s very interesting how God makes these meetings possible – sometimes using the most unlikely places where we can share and exchange matters of great importance. I walked away from that meeting so impressed by her attitude. She had too much to live for. She wasn’t going to let this dreaded disease get in the way. She approached life in a very big way – with much zest and love: a small lady that filled up the room with her smile and charm.

And so, in this Intensive Care unit, this small body was taking a very rough and hard beating.
It didn’t look like she was awake, but I’ve learned in all these years that it’s not our call to figure out if a patient can hear or not. So I went up to her and said, “It’s me, Der Hayr. Your Der Hayr.” I’m not really sure what gave me that extra bit of confidence to personalize myself to her life, but I felt it was right.

We all stood around the bed, holding hands. I began the Lord’s prayer and then the Gospel passage. I read from John 14:

  • “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also. And you know the way to the place where I am going.” Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.”

The emotions in the room were running high. A lot of tears, you wouldn’t expect anything less: a life was being cut short. I followed Arlene’s daughter and her husband into the waiting room. We began talking about the twist of life and fate. We were hitting on some of the big issue of life when a cousin came up to us and said, “You’ve got to come.”

We walked back into the room and there was Arlene, at peace. She wasn’t breathing. The breath had left her body exactly a minute since hearing the Gospel message. Her suffering had ended. She was at peace.

I know we were all moved and stunned. “Do not let your hearts be troubled” says God and certainly, the trouble had left the room. Her peace was touching each of us.

There are times in our lives when things just work. This was one of those. Arlene was leaving an incredible message to all of us. She was waiting for this final blessing – she was squaring things with her Maker and at the same time letting everyone know that at the end of the day, this was the ultimate reconciliation one needs to make in life.

As her motionless body lay there, I thought about the last words she heard, “I go to prepare a place for you… I am the way, the truth and the life…” She heard these words with her most treasured possessions standing all around her. She left this world at peace, leaving behind the pain, the suffering and the disease. She received a blessing sure, but at the same time each of us in that room knew that there was something greater happening here. We were blessed by this experience.

As a priest, I find a very profound point of equilibrium – where we give and it comes back to us in many different forms. In all of these variations we find the presence of God peaking at us through the thin veils of human experience, touching us – almost shaking us up – to reconnect to our humanity.

Today was the funeral. I went wantingly. I wanted to be there because it was a miracle that touched me. In the filth and disgust of something called cancer, a beautiful expression was blossoming.

I spoke about the angel Arlene. An angel is a messenger and Arlene was that angel that brought us the message: love never dies. She loved, she was loved and in her relatively short life of 59 years, she lead a very full existence. Her life was one which touched others.

At times like this we use some thoughtless terms such as paying our “last respects.” Or she “succumbed” to the disease. Or she “lost the battle” to cancer. With people like this, there cannot be a “last respect.” Honoring a person like Arlene is to live the example of the life she lived – more than a positive attitude, she had an attitude of love. She cared for and touched others. How dare we end it for her by saying she lost or succumbed to anything? Arlene was a victor, not a victim. Anyone who loves is a winner, because in return she’s gained all of eternity. She has reconciled with the ultimate force of the universe. She is one with God.

We all have a certain number of years – some get only a few, others many and still others get an over abundance. 10, 50, 80 or 100, its really doesn’t matter how many – sure life is sweet and nice, but the real measure is in how and in what way those years are filled. It’s something we all know, but when a life like Arlene’s touches us, it’s just one more opportunity for us to fortify our understanding of the power of love in our lives.

May God rest her soul. I stand today in thanksgiving for having known this very special woman.

Matt. 15: 22 Just then a Canaanite woman from that region came out and started shouting, “Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is tormented by a demon.” 23But he did not answer her at all. And his disciples came and urged him, saying, “Send her away, for she keeps shouting after us.” 24He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” 25But she came and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, help me.” 26He answered, “It is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.” 27She said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” 28Then Jesus answered her, “Woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish.” And her daughter was healed instantly.

Thoughts on the passing of Arlene Titizian (1948-2008)