Reflecting on the Life of Humility: Deacon Hrair & Anoush Dekmejians

by Fr. Vazken Movsesian

Deacon Hrair Dekmejian has given 80+ years of service to the Armenian Church. Along with his wife Anoush (nee Hagopian), they have been an anchor for faith for deacons, priests, bishops and most importantly, for the hundreds of people they have infected with their love for Christ through the Armenian Apostolic Church.

I have had the good fortune of knowing the Dekmejian family for the past 25 years, since assuming the pastorate of the St. Gregory the Illuminator Armenian Church in Pasadena in 1996, where they served at the altar and in the choir. We continued to serve together as we established the St. Peter Armenian Church Youth Ministries Center in Glendale in 2003.

As a professor of Political Science at the University of Southern California, Dr. Dekmejian possessed a keen understanding of geopolitics. He was always called on by the media to give his analysis of world events. But his love for the Church has always been first and foremost on his list of priorities. I will never forget when the second War in Iraq was announced. We were in the Lenten season and holding Lenten evening vigil. When I dismissed the congregation that night, we stepped outside the church building to a flood of lights and cameras! A large CNN truck with antennas hoisted was humming with reporters and technicians scrambling to find Dr. Dekmejian. Like a seasoned pro, Dr. Dekmejian approached the reporters and proceeded to offer his commentary with analysis about the Iraqi war. I turned to his wife Anoush looking for some answers as to why the church grounds had been converted to this ad hoc studio. She said, “When CNN called for an interview, Hrair told them he was going to church that evening. If they wanted an interview it would have to be after services.” And so it was. That evening the world received analysis from this humble deacon on the steps of the St. Peter Armenian Church in Glendale.

During this quarter-of-a-century that I have enjoyed working with Dn. Hrair and Anoush Dekmejian, I have been in the unique position of observing humility in service. Here is a man who deserves the highest accolades and honors in his field, yet his humility is always the hallmark of his service. While at USC, he opened the doors for me to serve as Chaplain for the Armenian Student Association (1997-2010). The chaplaincy program became the grounds on which we established the Youth Ministries Center in Glendale. Together we shared in a very special mission to the Armenian Youth, bringing together thousands of young people and families, in what Dr. Dekmejian himself identified as “ground zero… a place that Armenian organizations have ignored and forgotten, where education, identity and prayer have to come together.” With the blessing of His Eminence Archbishop Hovnan, we were able to articulate and chart a course for youth to become active in issues of social justice and human welfare. It was there, at and through the Youth Ministries Center that the In His Shoes organization was born and became a voice for the suffering.

In the 25 years we have worked together and through the countless opportunities that we have had to contemplate, talk, discuss and act on our actions, Dr. Dekmejian has placed his highest priority on the sense of service, one which he defined through the Armenian Church. His knowledge of the sharagans, sacred hymns and prayers of the Armenian Church are second to none. Only once – that’s right – only once did he miss church services, and that was because he was delayed that Sunday morning after breakfast with the King of Bahrain. He sat with kings, presidents, and ministers, yet for him his greatest service has always been his service through the diaconate of the Armenian Church.

The Armenian Church here in America has a unique life. Established in the late 19th century, the Church has been at the center for community life since the great exile of people following the first massacres in the 1890s and ultimately after the Genocide of 1915. Building the communities and helping to bring normalcy to lives devastated by barbarism and traumatized by the horrendous acts of Genocide became the life-long mission of church members, endowed by wisdom and dedication. While many will recognize the names of the “heavy-weights” of the Armenian Church during the 20th Century – from Archbishops Nersoyan, Manoogian, Khatchadourian, Ghazarian to Catholicoi – the Dekmejians knew them personally and were intricately involved in the mission of offering faith, hope and love through the divine institution of the Church along with these giants of the Armenian Church.

Hrair Dekmejian began his journey in the church as an altar boy in Allepo, Syria in what was identified as the “Aintabtzi” church. In 1950 he came to the United States and began serving at the St. James Armenian Church in Los Angeles, alongside Bishop Mampre Kalfayan and Father Asoghig Ghazarian (later the archbishop of Iraq). In 1951 he was ordained a deacon by Bishop Hrant Khatchadourian. He attended Yale Divinity School. In 1954, Hrair married Anoush and they were blessed with three boys: Gregory, Armen and Haig.

In 1955 Hrair volunteered in the US Army, in intelligence at SHAPE (Supreme Headquarters Allied Powers Europe) in Fountainbleu, France. During those years, he continued to serve at the Armenian Church, this time in Parish France, never missing a Sunday service.

Returning to the United States in 1957, he became a full-time student at the University of Connecticut, conducting deacon services and training choirs at churches on the East Coast, wherever life called the young family. Archbishop Khoren (later Catholicos of Cilicia) granted Hrair the title of Arch-deacon (Avak-sargavac). His service marks are left at St. Gregory, Massachusetts, St. Stephen, Watertown, St. Vartanants, New Jersey, and St. Gregory, NYC, where he often led services, and taught English to the newly arrived clergy, becoming a living-translator for the new and budding Armenian communities. In 1960 he received an MA from Boston University and in 1964 he received his PhD. From Columbia.

While in New York, at the St. Gregory Armenian Church in Binghamton, he served with Fr. Mesrob Semerdjian, Fr. Yeghiseh Kizirian (later archbishop of London), Fr. Arshen Ashjian, Archbishop Tiran Nersoyan (longtime family friend with Aintabtsi roots), and life-long friend, Fr. Karekin Kasparian. He shared his love for music, in particular the Armenian sharagans with Fr. Oshagan Minassian and with Bishop Torkom Manoogian (later the Patriarch of Jerusalem). He became a mentor to two budding priests, Fr. Kevork Arakelian and Fr. Daniel Findikian, (now the bishop of the Eastern Diocese) and has kept a very strong relationship with both and their families to this day.

In 1986 he moved to the Los Angeles to assume the position of the Chairman of the Political Science Department at USC. As mentioned, in 1997 he invited me to be the Chaplain of the Armenian Student Association of USC. We charted new grounds together, as for the first time ever, Armenian Students had an official meeting spot and presence within the religious groups on campus. In 2001 we held a Conference at USC dedicated to the 1700th anniversary of Christianity. In 2005 he hosted His Holiness Karekin II on campus where he shared his analysis of the Armenian Church and charted a course for Armenian Church and youth in Western society.

At USC his Genocide and Terrorism classes were among the most popular on campus, with standing room only in the lecture hall. He’d invite me once a year to talk and lead discussions with students about identity. It was through his efforts that the Institute of Armenian Studies at USC was founded and established.

During their time at the St. Peter Armenian Church and Youth Ministries Center, both Dn. Hrair and Anoush were inviting to all. His form of leadership was very basic but effective. For instance, as choir leader he suggested not to order choir robes so that the choir is not separated from the congregation. With this simple suggestion, one of the most striking features of Sunday morning worship at the church was that everyone sang the Divine Liturgy from beginning to end, hence fortifying the sense of community by including everyone in the corporate worship of the Church.

In 2016, we both left St. Peter Armenian Church and even in his retirement he has not tired from attending our weekly Bible Studies and offering and sharing his knowledge and love for the Armenian Church.

On this occasion, as one more voice in the congregation, I salute Deacon Hrair and Anoush Dekmejian for their unwavering support and love for the Armenian Church. They have successfully taken Christ’s commission to spread the Gospel, understanding that as God humbled Himself for our salvation, it is in that humility that love flourishes. We pray for their health and strength so that they may continue to inspire us all.

Gabriel & Katie Jay: A Celebration of Life

Gabriel and Katie Jay Stauring were activists for peace. They worked with refugees of mass atrocities such as the Genocide in Darfur. Together they established iAct to provide humanitarian action to aid, empower and extend hope to those affected by mass atrocities. Last Summer (August 2021) they went to Armenia to work with refugees of the War in Artsakh.  They were interviewed on Western Diocesan Television program “Center of Attention” https://youtu.be/BKs47NLYopU  

On November 23, 2021 they tragically lost their lives in a traffic accident in Los Angeles. A Celebration of Life was held on December 11 with family and friends in attendance. Below are his opening remarks at the Celebration of Life gathering:

 

Good afternoon and welcome to this Celebration of Life: Gabriel and Katie Jay Scott Stauring, two lives and two souls that brought love to people, passion to life, and peace to a hurting world. There’s was a life that stood out in the world as a bright beacon of hope. It is in that spirit – in their spirit – that I light this candle, because they would be the first to tell you that “it is so much better to light this candle than to curse the darkness.”

Please join me in prayer:

Lord God, Author of Love and Passion, accept this offering today made by the family and friends of Gabriel and Katie Jay, as an offering of thanksgiving for two lives that touched us and the lives of so many. We stand here today to remember, to share, to cry, to laugh, and to celebrate two lives that were cut short but, the fullness and quality of their lives along with their capacity to heal a hurting world, have become inspiration for and to us all. May we find solace in their stories, in the way LOVE became the predominant motivator of their compassion for the hurting people of the World. Amen.

I am a priest of the Armenian Orthodox Church, yet the greater qualifier for officiating this service is that I was and am a friend of both Gabriel and Katie Jay. I am honored to be officiating this service with Trudy Goodman. Together we will share our stories, and the stories of those who were close to Gabriel and Katie Jay. Over the last few weeks so many of you have shared on social media, what these two meant to you. Today, is a continuation of that sharing, a sharing that will go on for years to come by the thousands who have been completely changed by their lives.

I’d like to tell you that meeting Gabriel was by chance, but by now I realize it wasn’t. There was something greater at work. This past summer, before Gabriel & Katie-Jay left for Armenia and we discussed exactly that. We sat around a table reminiscing about the road to our meeting. You see, I am the grandchild of Genocide survivors, the first Genocide of the 20th century. In 2003, we began the In His Shoes movement, with the simple premise that those who have suffered evil have a unique responsibility to take action against injustice to others. Our actions are based on Christ’s principles of love, compassion and repaying evil with good.

Well, you can understand what a lonely place that was, unless you were lucky or blessed enough to meet Gabriel Stauring. Right around that same time he had had his ‘enough’ moment and knew that he could not stand by as the FIRST Genocide of the 21st century, that is, in Darfur, was unfolding.

He was putting the foundation to iAct, through Stop Genocide Now and I was doing the same with In His Shoes. Through the years we bounced ideas off of each other, realizing there had to be better ways of combatting evil. In very simple terms: while the world was telling us you fight fire with fire, we dared to believe that maybe it is time we use some water to put out the flames.

We were at the first Camp Darfur, and he was at every one of our In His Shoes activities. In 2008 we named him the Man of the Year, because he embodied everything that was in the “script.” He was living out the goodness. With Katie Jay, there was a sense of fulfillment and completeness. They became a team. I know that feeling as I’ve enjoyed that fulfillment with Susan. We would attend each other’s events, up until the last one we attended just a few months ago, right here in this auditorium, after their successful work in Armenia working with the refugees of the War.

We both shared an excitement for technology – which included some time-travel too! I remember the primitive tents at Camp Darfur, with modern tech driving them in the background. We organized the first transcontinental virtual meeting of refugees – about 8 years – at our church. Refugees of the Darfur Genocide meeting with the children of the refugees of the Armenian Genocide. Picture the sacredness of the church, in front of our altar area, monitors, a panel of computers and couplers held together by wires and Katie-Jay acting as a human-antenna. We were in Glendale while Gabriel in Chad, was hooking up cameras with genocide survivors from Darfur. AND the MIRACLE HAPPENED… The refugees there heard for the first time, the voices of their grandchildren, the children sitting in Glendale who told them “It’s going to get better, look at us!” And our children in Glendale, for the first time, were talking with their grandparents, who were thrown out of their homes because of their skin color, their religion and ethnic makeup.

This was a magical bridge that brought about human understanding, across generations and across continents. But to achieve this kind of magic, or miracle, requires sacrifice, one which both Gabriel and Katie Jay made over and over again. On this particular day, Gabriel was away from his family for one of the longer sprints of his 31 visits to the refugee camps. Both Katie-Jay’s mom and Gabriel’s mom had come to the church that day, because it was their chance to see and talk with Gabriel. Katie-Jay held their daughter Leila up to the camera. You could hear the longing in Gabriel’s voice as he looked on at his child and Leila seeing daddy on the big screen. There was a very tender moment afterwards where they all went to the candle area of our church to light a candle, a symbol of light in the darkness.

I have placed a cross here. In the Armenian Orthodox Church, the cross is a symbol of resurrection and victory, yes, but it is also a symbol of victory through LOVE. In the West we have the symbol of the heart, yet in our Eastern Orthodox tradition the symbol of Love is the Cross because it means sacrifice. What Gabriel & KTJ did was sacrifice – their comfort, the family, their talents, their life for something greater, namely peace.

I wish to share with you the words of Jesus Christ, which are often understood as a prediction for some future time. As I read this passage now, I ask that we all think of these two lives that we celebrate today. Think of the words of this passage as being fulfilled in the lives of Gabriel and Katie-Jay. It is from the Sermon on the Mount where Jesus says,

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

“Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

“Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

These words are not forecast or prediction, rather think of them as axioms. In Gabriel and Katie Jay we see fulfillment. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God.” Blessed are Gabriel and Katie Jay for they are children of God. They witnessed the power of light over darkness, the power of good over evil, the power love over hate.

When I was growing up, I thought the Armenian Genocide was so horrific that it was unique. Singular. Just as everyone else who comes of age, I started looking around and saw the horrors of the Holocaust, Ethiopia, Cambodia, and Rwanda. In this century, the list only began with Darfur, which tragically was not the end. These atrocities continue in the world. There are only the indicators that flash before our lives all the time that point to these horrors. Yesterday, a truck carrying 53 Central American migrants turned over, killing them. Truly a horror, but we need to look beyond and see the real atrocities that are being committed that drive people out of their home and countries.

Blessed are you Gabriel and Katie Jay for you are children of God. You cannot die. And the challenge is now ours.

We can give them all the tributes, memorials and celebrations that we can muster, but the greatest tribute will be to carry on the mission and vision for which they lived. And now, this holiday season, we have the reminder, that the same mission and vision was shared at the Birth of the Christ Child: Peace on Earth and good will toward one-another. That is a mission for us all. IAct is what they set up. It’s mission is to provide humanitarian action to aid, empower and extend hope to those affected by mass atrocities. Our first step to remembering and celebrating Gabriel and Katie Jay’s life and legacy is to adopt Peace as our goal: Peace on Earth and goodwill toward one another.

I thank the Stauring family for the honor to share these thoughts with you. May God rest their soul and grant comfort to all of you.

-Fr. Vazken Movsesian

The celebration of life is archived at
Part 1 https://www.facebook.com/iactivism/videos/1604312983236469
Part 2 https://www.facebook.com/iactivism/videos/275349494622372

Just before leaving for Armenia

 

A selfie at Gabriel’s request. So happy that he asked!