Tag Archive for: Prison

Forgotten – part 5, The Prisons

/0 Comments/in ,

Armodoxy for Today: The Forgotten, Part 5 – The Prisons

Silva sits in a prison cell watching life go by. Since her incarceration, her children have grown up, entered into their professions and created their own lives. She hasn’t met or seen her grandchildren, but she has seen a wide variety of people coming into prison, and out of prison. Murderers have been sentenced, served their time and let out, while Silva has watched and hoped that her day will come soon.

Just to remind you, her crime was that she was abused for 25 years by her husband. After trying to resolve the situation by going to family, friends and even the police, and not finding resolutions, she thinks her only way out of the violence is through violence and puts her mind to be rid of him for good. Attempting murder is as far as she got. Her attempt was foiled. According to the law, trying to kill someone is enough to land you in prison and that it did. Abused for 25 years, and now twenty years in jail.

Silva’s situation was nothing new to me. Domestic violence has been on my radar since I began my ministry. I was alerted to the sensitivity of the subject when at one point five different women approached me, their parish priest, in the course of a couple of months, complaining about domestic abuse.

What an opportunity, I thought, to bring these women together. Let them talk to one another, let them share their stories with each other. Exchange notes. Discuss responsibility, etc. It could only be therapeutic for them.

I approached each one separately. Spoke with them and explained the gravity of the situation. Even more, I explained, there are others who are going through the same difficulties you are experiencing. I did not even get one person who would be willing to discuss their situation with another. Why? What would the neighbors think? The shame factor was well at work. It was outside of their comfort zone. I was too young and too inexperienced to push the necessity of such dialogues – ones with people who could relate to you because of their similar experiences.

Here we are several decades later, and still domestic violence is in the shadows. There is a stigma attached to being a victim of a partner’s dominance. You don’t ask for it, but you’re confined to a lifetime of it.

But from all this evil – and seemingly “winning” evil – something good took flight. It was called Datev Outreach, addressing the issues faced by the victims of domestic violence. More on that, next time.

For today we pray, “Lord our God, remember those who struggle against hatred and prejudice. By the power of your Holy Cross, which you did not reject, but accepted and climbed for all humankind, melt our heart of stone so that we may be loving and caring towards all. Amen.”

Forgotten – Victim and Prisoners

/0 Comments/in ,

Armodoxy for Today: The Forgotten, part 4 – Victim and Prisoner

In Jesus’ parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11f), there is point of awakening, which leads to his repentance and return home. When he had money and means, he was surrounded by friends, but once the money ran out, so did his friends. He found himself alone, searching for the bygone days. Fortunately, there was a loving father who welcomed his son’s return and celebrated. But what if he came to that point of repentance, that moment awakening, and there was no who wanted his back? What if they designated him as “forgotten” and no doors were open for him to return to life?

Meet Silva. She’s a forgotten inmate at the California Institution for Women. She has been confined behind prison bars since 2007. Like the Prodigal Son, she was on top of the world financially. She had friends and she was well respected in the Armenian community in Southern California, until she was incarcerated. Slowly, she found herself alone, and isolated. Unlike the Prodigal, there have been no open doors for her to return.

Her story is all too common, and especially in immigrant communities such as the Armenian one. She was a victim of domestic violence. And, she still is.

Quick, what’s wrong with this picture? She’s a victim, so why is she in prison? And if she’s in prison, how can she still be a victim of domestic violence?

While everything seemed fine on the outside, Silva was being abused emotionally, psychologically and physically by her husband. They were married for over 25 years and the level of abuse became intolerable for Silva, to the point that she wanted out in the worst way possible. And so, she did the worst thing possible by deciding to kill her husband as a solution, to end the violence. She hired a person to kill him. The murder was botched. Silva was tried and convicted of attempted murder.

In the nearly two decades that she has been in prison, she has been a model prisoner. She has educated herself and holds several degrees. She’s been up for parole a couple of times only to be passed by. Ironically, if she had killed her husband, she probably would have been out by now, perhaps on a self-defense plea. Instead, she was abused for 25 years in her marriage and now she’s being abused in prison and by a system that is broken.

This story is a personal one for me. Jesus sought out and ministered to the forgotten, giving us an example to do the same. I have met with Silva and chronicled her struggle through the system. The story itself is filled with intrigue, betrayal, hatred, and much loneliness and despair. It would make for a very interesting novel or film. My intention is not share those details, but to place this in the context of the Church – Christ’s Holy Body – in response to evil. I’m determined to get this story out and hope that somewhere someone will pick up and join the cause of righteousness.

We will continue tomorrow. We pray today, Lord, have mercy. Amen.