Road to Healing – Lenten Journey 2014
Day 26:
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Ever since he was a kid he loved the sea. Garry grew up in a small town over the hill from the ocean. The fog would roll in on the summer mornings, stirring his imagination to some of the most picturesque shores in the South Sea. His family was of modest means; they lived well, but little left to indulge in some of the luxuries of life. He never verbalized it, but everyone knew, Garry wanted to be on a boat. Not a small boat, but something that he could take out and ride to the places he dreamed about.

So it wasn’t a surprise to anyone when on his 26th birthday he withdrew his entire savings and a small loan to purchase a 2008 Carver Voyager with twin Volvo D9 diesel engines. His dream had come true. He had worked hard for this yacht and he knew he would enjoy all 52 feet of this vessel. He was going to explore, play, see, find and experience his love of the sea from the deck of his own ship. This was his. He had worked hard since graduating high school, sometimes working double shifts to get the money to buy this yacht. He knew all the businesses in the marina and was on a first-name basis with all the owners. The boat owners were all sincerely happy to hear Garry was making this dream come true. He had tried once before to purchase a boat, but it was small and he knew it was for the best that the financing didn’t work on that deal. This was the ship he would now enjoy. And who knows where it would lead him? A young man, with the sea in his hair, he might even find the love of his life to cruise the seas together.

He found a space in the harbor over the hill where he would park his yacht while in town. He had two large chains that he had actually acquired years before the boat. The chains kept his ambition before his mind. He’d look at the chains whenever he’d get discouraged and remember that he was working for a reason – to have this boat. Each chain was made of the highest test materials. They were definitely overkill; they could have held the Queen Mary at bay. But for Garry’s purposes, strong they were, but they weren’t long enough to tie the ship to the dock. He took the chains over to his friend Mike who welded them together, making a large chain to be used to tie the boat to the dock and to go down with the anchor while parked at sea.

Garry was ready to set sail in a week. Once his affairs were in order the open horizon was where he was headed. But his dream would soon be shattered when on the first night he had parked his boat, the chain broke causing this massive yacht to float toward the breakwater, and somehow make it to the edge of the harbor and be kicked out to sea. It was at the dawn of the next day that they discovered the wreckage of the boat, out on the rocks of a nearby island. Back in the harbor the chain was fastened to the dock, but broken at the point of the weld. It was a faulty job.

There is a saying that a chain is only as strong as its weakest link. Dreams, with all good intentions, can be quickly shattered and lost when that weakest link is broken. Much like Garry’s story, our lives are filled with details, some very minute and precise, but each of those details depends on the health and strength of the other details. We look for healing of the body or the soul, but equally important are our “chains” – those support and structures in our lives that keep us at bay. Those could be things, they could be people, they could be relationships, they are definitely our wellbeing. We are only as strong as our weakest link. It’s necessary to not let ambition rule our actions, where we miss the minute details and allow the chain to break.

Let us pay attention to the details of the minute matters, those links that hold us in place and hold us together. Ask yourself, in my life where are my strong links and where is the weakest link? People? Places? Things? What would I lose if that weak link should snap? When we first started this journey, we might have answered this question by pointing to our illness or disease as the weakest link in our system. I believe today we may find other places to look.

We pray the prayer of St. Nersess Shnorhali,

O Christ, the guardian of all, let Your Right Hand guard and shelter me by day and by night, while at home and while away, while sleeping and while awake, that I may never fall. Have mercy upon Your Creatures and upon me, a great sinner. Amen.

This is Fr. Vazken looking forward to continuing the Road to Healing with you tomorrow.

Produced by Suzie Shatarevyan for epostle.net
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Road to Healing – Lenten Journey 2014
Day 25:
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Yesterday we had a preliminary dose of one of St. Gregory of Narek’s prayer. It might have gone misunderstood had we not been on the journey for over three weeks when we encountered it. The meditation was intended to bring us to a new platform today, where the ego is slighted as a prerequisite to healing.

The struggle we have with our ego is a difficult one. On the first hand, we are here, on this journey, precisely because of the ego. That is, we hurt. We have had several life experiences that have contributed to our pain and suffering. As we inspect and examine ourselves and the underlying reasons for our illness, addictions, broken relationships or disease, we find our ego is tightly and intricately intertwined with our ails.

Who knows you better than anyone else on this planet? Better than your mother, better than your father? Better than your spouse, sister or brother? Better than your lover or your best friend? Who knows you better than anyone else? You do. Sure, you have close friends, maybe even a soul-mate, but only you know all of your ambitions, your desires, your inner struggles and feelings. Therefore, responsibility for your welfare ultimately resides with you. Pure and simple.

But in this thought process, it’s very easy to convince yourself that that is all that matters. When we read a prayer or mediation such as the works of Narekatsi, we immediately understand that there is something greater than the self in the life process. That is, the ego is diminished in size and capacity when we acknowledge something greater than the self. There are many ways of understanding that greater-than-self entity. It can be called the Truth, the Universe, the All, the Force or Power, Father, Mother, God or very simply Love. In all cases, in acknowledging the greater-than-self we understand that our healing, and ultimately our health, is a combination of body and soul, heaven and earth, self and God.

Praising and praying are one way of acknowledging the greater presence and letting the ego have a break.

Let us pray a prayer of St. Nersess Shnorhali,

Searcher of secrets, I have sinned against You willingly and unwillingly, knowingly and unknowingly, grant me —a great sinner— forgiveness, for since I was born of the holy font until this day I have sinned before You, by my senses, and by all the members of my body. Have mercy upon Your Creatures and upon me, a great sinner. Amen.

Think of this prayer, meditate on the words and the thought of asking someone for something as eloquent, as beautiful, as simple and as great as forgiveness. Where does your ego stand in this relationship?

This is Fr. Vazken inviting you to join us tomorrow as we continue on the Road to Healing.

Produced by Suzie Shatarevyan for epostle.net
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Road to Healing – Lenten Journey 2014
Day 23:
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A large envelope arrived in the mail yesterday. It was marked with the writing of a child. It was addressed to “Hopar,” an endearing term for uncle, from my six-year-old nephew Vartan. He was excited to share his lesson about Martin Luther King, Jr. with me. On a large card made out of construction paper, was his rendition of the Civil Rights Leader along with his narrative, written with thick marker pens.

At the bottom of the note, he had two marking. They had nothing to do with the story of King, but everything to do with our journey. They were combination of lines – a vertical and horizontal line drawn perpendicular to one another, and two lines shooting out of the cross-point at 45 degree angles on each side. Underneath the symbol was written, “Wood symbol in Chinese.” Next to this figure was two of the same figure with the inscription, “Forest in Chinese.”

The Chinese logograms appeared as a bonus message on my nephew’s letter, but their arrival on this day of our Journey – the day after we took our eyes off of the horizon – was more than a fluke. It is the caveat to yesterday’s message and the theme for today: Can’t see the forest for the trees.

Yesterday we moved our attention from the abstract and unseen reality beyond the horizon to the road below our feet, to the immediate functions of life. In so doing it might be easy to concentrate so much on the little things that we fail to notice, and subsequently we fail to understand, the intertwining of all of life’s realities. We can’t see the forest for the trees.

When we are too close to a situation we need to step back and get a better perspective. It is easy to be over obsessed and consumed with our life-situations, especially if they are troubling and causing us hardship. Illness and disease are overwhelming, as are love-lost and hurtful-pasts. It is even comforting to bask in misery because it’s close by and familiar. Meanwhile, the possibility of the unknown – the healing – and the risk involved to get there can be frightening. It means risking and opening ourselves to vulnerability. With this narrow outlook, we miss opportunities to connect with other life experiences and people to build the bigger reality of life.

The happy medium is between our steps below our feet and the horizon in the distance. It’s there that healing becomes possible as we move from self-absorption to self-respect. We understand the possibilities within our reach.

If you follow the road signs on the highway you’re pretty much assured to get in close proximity of your destination, give or take a few addresses, blocks or miles. On this journey we’ve been twisting and turning in a rather adventurous spirit. So I doubt that the direction we received today, from the “hands of babes” was purely chance. When you find synchronicity with the signs, roads and compass directions as we have today, it becomes more of a confirmation of being on the right path and for us, a confirmation that healing is in front of us.

We reach to St. Gregory of Narek (Narekatsi) for today’s prayer and meditation. This is merely an excerpt from a longer proclamation for healing. Narekatsi’s words are overwhelming as a forest, yet each word expresses the beauty and wonder of the simple tree. Meditate on the words, mediate on the whole:

Lord, my Lord, grantor of gifts, root of goodness,
ruler of all equally, creator of all from nothing,
glorified, awesome, awe inspiring,
beyond understanding…
blessed existence, shadowless dawn,
ray shining upon all, light professing to all,
unwavering assurance, undisturbable calm,
taste of sweetness, cup of bliss,
love in dark exile,
great help, trustworthy refuge,
undiminishing grace, inexhaustible treasure
, pure rain, glittering dew,
universal cure, free healing,
health restored, sublime spur,
defender who loves the poor,
unparalleled compassion, inexhaustible mer
cy, humility celebrated, kiss of salvation.

We will continue on this road tomorrow, until then this is Fr. Vazken inviting you to join us then, on this Lenten Journey.

Produced by Suzie Shatarevyan for epostle.net
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Road to Healing – Lenten Journey 2014
Day 21:
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Since returning home after surgery, I have been using our living room space as the headquarters for my program of recovery. It is there that I meet with friends and family and practice the daily rituals of prayer and meditation. Thoughts are introduced and processed here, some forever lost, while others hit me so profoundly, that they become prescriptions scribbled on pads of electrons.

I am surrounded by two icons. On the Northern wall is an icon of the Resurrection of Christ and on the Southern side, against the window is a depiction of the Medicine Buddha. My dear friend Gregory Beylerian is the artist who created these images. By sitting between them, I am literally between North and South and spiritually between East & West. (I use these terms in the broad sense; for me, it’s a question of being between East and further East.)

Positioning myself here is part of my personal journey of healing. The Medicine Buddha, sometimes referred to as the Healing Buddha, is the granter of perfect health, and in that perfect health we understand body and soul, for the Medicine Buddha light is one that leads to enlightenment. The image is painted in a dark deep blue. The indigo color is associated with the brow chakra (this is one of the centers of spiritual power in the body) – where we find discernment, clarity, vision and seeing beyond illusion.

So where are we today? Are we at the midpoint of our journey where East meets West? I sit between North and South, I find a fusion of East and West. You’ll find that our Road to Healing has been one of discernment, to find clarity, vision and focus beyond the illusion. Because beyond our ills, problems, addictions, incompatibilities, misunderstandings and failures, there is the pure self that has the potential of complete healing.

Yesterday we met the Medicine Buddha when we heard the question, “Which is easier to say, your sins are forgiven? Or to say rise and walk?” Is this not the hand off between the physical and the spiritual? Jesus, in the Parable of the Dishonest Steward, reminds us that the children of this existence are, in this generation, wiser than the children of light. Today is not only a meeting of East and West, it’s the meeting of Heaven and Earth. Today we find that we are beings of physical and spiritual certainty and the completeness of our life is enjoyed only in the harmony between the two. Heaven and Earth meet as a prototype of our body and soul meeting, leading us to complete renewal and peace.

I am surrounded by two icons. On one side of me the Medicine Buddha, extends his arm and hand toward the holy Earth while on my other side the Christ extends his hand up to heaven, I realize my place between them is unique. I have an opportunity as no other in time, to open myself to the healing that envelopes me, coming from all sides, from above and below, from within and without.

We pray a simple prayer of St. Nersess Shnorhali:

I plead to you, loving Lord, heal me.
Be life in my death.
Be light in my darkness
Take away my pain. Amen.

This is Fr. Vazken looking forward to meeting with you again tomorrow as we continue on this Road to Healing.

Images: Medicine Buddha & Rise! by Gregory Beylerian
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Road to Healing – Lenten Journey 2014
Day 19:
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Did you ever get something you didn’t bargain for? This could be negative or positive. You’ve probably experienced the “Express Lube” centers where we go in for an oil-change only to be offered upgrades and extra services that do little except to drain your wallet. Or what I call the “and up” print. This is that small print usually underneath the price of an item that let’s you know you may get the item for $29.95, but it is more likely that you will find something of decent quality in the “and up” price range.

There are of course, positive extras which are real bargains. You sit at a restaurant and order a meal. When the bill comes it’s less than you thought it would be; your order was on the luncheon specials menu. You go for a medical exam because your blood pressure has been up. You find out your new diet has reduced your blood pressure and on top of it, you’ve dropped an extra 10 pounds. These are the extras that we all like and wish there was more of.

There was a man who was paralyzed and lived his life on a stretcher. His family had heard that Jesus was performing miracles, healing the lame and the ill. They took this man on the stretcher so that he might be healed and walk again.

When they came close to the house where Jesus was staying they saw that it was impossible to get in or even near Jesus. The house was full, the windows and doors were blocked by people trying to get in and even the front and back yards were jammed with those who hoped only for a glance or a whisper from Jesus.

They took the paralytic on his stretcher up to the roof of the house. They were so determined for him to be healed that they broke a hole in the roof and lowered the paralyzed man through the attic to a spot immediately in front of Jesus.

Seeing the faith of these people and moved by their determination to get in, Jesus turned to the man and said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.”

Wait a minute! Sins? Who’s talking about sins? They went to all that trouble, carrying him up to the roof, tore the tiles and lowered the paralytic into the house for the forgiveness of sins? Was he serious? Couldn’t he see that this man wanted to be healed? This man wanted to walk. Why was Jesus forgiving sins? And on top of it, who was Jesus that might presume that he could forgive this man’s sins?

Jesus looked at the people and asked them straight out, “Why are you troubled by this? Why are you questioning this in your heart? Which is easier? To tell this man ‘Your sins are forgiven?’ Or to tell him, ‘Rise, Take up your stretcher and walk.’ But so that you man know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins,” he said to the paralytic, “Get up! Rise! Pick up your stretcher, walk and go home.” The story, which is recorded in three of the Gospels says that the man rose “Immediately” picking up his stretcher and walked home.

The man came looking for a low-level miracle. He wanted to get up and walk. The extra bonus, which was the real miracle, was that he was forgiven. He was let go of his past. Jesus referring to himself as the “Son of Man” in this context is the expression and ability that he is one of us. That is, this power to forgive is given to all of us. Even more, his question, “Which is easier to forgive sins or to say ‘Rise and Walk!’” informs us that the path to health, to rising and walking, to healing, to recovery, to reconciliation is with the basic step of forgiving.

Today’s meditation comes to us from this story. It’s a challenging contemplation. We are all like the paralytic in the story, that is, we are bound up by our illness and disease. He was unable to move because of the loss of motor skills. You may be stuck because of your lack of self-esteem, or stifled because of a love lost or struggling because of an addiction. What is it that you really want? Do you want to walk? Or do you want to be relieved of the illness and the struggles that prevent you from walking?

We shake off some of the difficulties with this mediation today and return tomorrow to move forward on the Road to Healing.

Produced by Suzie Shatarevyan for epostle.net
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